In this blog post I will talk about how to deal with negative or toxic people in your life. Is there someone in your life who almost always seems to bring you down? After you visit with this person you consistently feel miserable and depressed. Is there someone in your life who regularly disagrees with any particular opinion you might have? You try to express your opinion to this person and all they do is disagree with you immediately. You may be dealing with a toxic person. My advice would be to physically and emotionally move yourself away from these kinds of people.
Who they are
There are many terms for these kinds of people. Toxic, negative, bullies, arrogant, narcissistic, condescending, rude, entitled, are just some of the words that are used to describe individuals like this. Generally, they do not really care about how you feel, they just want to be right or feel superior. A person like this often lacks empathy. Rarely do they actually listen to you or really try to understand you. You really do not need to associate with these kinds of people. They can actually harm your mental health.
Some people will talk to you and then immediately try to criticize things that you are saying without fully understanding what you have said. These are not the kinds of people that you should go to for advice or to run ideas by. Sometimes people are just looking for encouragement when they say something, they don’t always want an immediate opinion back. Imagine a friend tells me they are starting a new business, what is the best thing that I could say? I would argue the best reply should be, “Great, I wish you the best in your new business. Tell me more about it.” I should not offer an immediate criticism of the other person’s business plan unless asked for it.
Imagine this scenario. A person named Jack tells his friend Sharon he is starting a new painting business. Sharon immediately informs Jack that his business is bound to fail since there’s no demand for painters in this area. Even if it is true, that painters are not needed in the area, Sharon does not have enough information yet to make an informed criticism of Jack’s business plan. Also, Jack did not immediately ask for criticism of his new business idea so it was somewhat rude for Sharon to immediately offer her critique. Perhaps Jack is planning on opening his business in a different city with a higher painting demand.
They rarely encourage you
Negative or toxic people will generally try to shoot down any new, creative, or independent idea that you might have. You should not go to these kinds of people if you are trying to do anything even slightly revolutionary. Many people must have said going to the Moon is impossible but it was done. Do not believe naysayers or people who make you feel like your dreams are not important or that your ambitions are mediocre. They are your dreams. Believe in them.
Maybe your goal is to write a great novel, run a marathon, start a family, or record an album, do not let anyone ever tell you that your dream is mediocre or not worth achieving. Your dreams and goals are admirable, whatever they are. The best way to avoid negative or toxic people is to simply get away from them. They have their own issues that they need to face and you do not need to be brought down by them. Life is too short to let these people make yours miserable.
Thank you for reading and have a good day.
©2020 Richard Gillespie